It seems as if I am constantly reassuring myself that things are going to get better. And yet I wish that I did not have to reassure myself every morning, and every night. I do not want sleep to be my only escape for the rest of my life. When I am awake, I cannot escape from myself. These thoughts never seem to cease, and yet it is the same thoughts that run through my mind every single day. I am tired of searching, why can't I just be found. Sometimes I wish I was ignorant and simple-minded. I wish I could spend at least one minute of my day without any thoughts. It is about time I stopped worrying and started living. I have to build a dam around my heart just to keep these emotions from storming into what I have already built up. And let me tell you my dam is not as strong as it once was. Who is going to be there for me when I need help getting myself off the ground when my dam breaks? I just want to be able to accept what is and what will be. I am sick and tired of things falling into place only to have them ripped from my griping hands. What's the point of living with an open heart--an overflowing one, at that--and an open, understanding mind? Why, if it only hurts me in the end?
16 comments:
I can relate to this post! I too sometimes wish I could go back to the time when ignorance was bliss, when I wasn't tied down with with all the thoughts in my head...I have to keeping telling myself things will get better...but that seems redundant at times. And of course the only advice we can all give is "don't worry, things will get better"
-Take care
hi. Thanks for reading my blog and commenting! haha..i don't even know you and you were the first person who EVER commented! Sorry it's taken a while to get back to you...but I just now got back into the states.
Take Care.
Hey, I did read your blog today.. and thanks checking out and commenting my blog. I think youre about 1 of 2 people that look at it now. haha ill be sure to look at yours sometimes from now on.
mariakate:)
Sometimes, you really just have to take a look around and realize that even if one day is horrible, the next might be better. I've been through quite a few spells of feeling this way in my life, and it always seems to turn around at some point. Just hang in there.
Thanks for stopping by my blog. A friend of mine turned me on to this. I will post more soon.
Hi Jonny, thanks for your comments on my blog. Enjoyed your heart-wrenching honesty. You have a strong voice in your writing--- keep it up!
Jonny, you are wise beyond your years. I'm glad you found me this morning. Destiny has a way of doing wonderful things (occasionally) in our lives. You will find what you seek. Never give up and never lose faith.
Besides, we share the same zodiac sign. So, I know when all else fails, OPTIMISM reigns supreme.
Keep writing. Your words are beautiful.
Thankful,
Roschelle
Jonny, read my post for today on Admissible Banter. Thanks again for helping start off a beautiful; one I won't take for granted.
Peace...
Roschelle
Thanks for stopping by my blog! Glad you like it. I sadly don't have the talent to design my blog. http://www.blogstudios.com does a great job!
SassyAssy
Hi Jonny, you have amazing insight and great talent. I found your blog via Blog Queen and I am so glad that I did, I will be back often. Keep up the wonderful work, your words are poignant and beautiful.
Your blog is amazing. So amazing. I really can relate to what you are saying. And thank you for commenting me. =)
Hey!
I'm glad someone reads my blog =].
Your thoughts are really powerful by the way. You might change peoples perspectives on the world.
Oh and ha. Were the same age =].
-H
Hey Jonny,
Thanks for the comment. Please check up on my drawings, i am doing this to encourage myself to draw more often. Also, good post, I can totally relate, lots of people can. Not everyone, but more then we probably realize.
Take it easy.
Paul.
thank you for the kind words. you're blog is lovely. : )
I feel ya
hey thanks for reading and commenting my blog lol now you know how confusing my life is... sorry it took me forever to comment back im really reall ybusy and barely ever get toread other blogs...
well I like your blog keep posting hope your thoughts become clearer!!!
Cool, blog Jonny. It's amazing to realize you are only 16 and thinking about things the way you are.
Take care.
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